In a few minutes or so, the new year will start to be ushered into the United States. Those of you outside the United States, especially in countries with only one time zone, may not understand this next part. But it's something I've always wondered about.
At the end of every year, a crystal ball drops in Times Square in New York City to help count down to the new year. It's fun, and it's a festive atmosphere. It's a time of celebration and a time to look forward to new opportunities and experiences.
The problem is that, as many of you know, I live in St. Louis, which is one hour later than the East Coast of the United States. I remember in 1999-2000 because people were celebrating the new millennium, and then again in 2001-2002, because people were trying to move past 9/11, New Year's celebrations were televised live for each time zone in the United States. However, the usual practice of most television networks is that they broadcast the ball drop live on the East Coast, and then rebroadcast it in each time zone when midnight strikes. Here's the main issue: watching it here in the Midwest takes away from the excitement, knowing that the ball drop is not live, and that we're getting the retreads from New York. It's a little anti-climactic, when 12:00 AM on New Year's Day is supposed to be, again, fun and festive. That's why you see everybody with their friends, hanging out, kissing...
Actually, now that I've brought that up, I've spent more years at home watching the ball drop by myself. It's kind of lonely. And I've never had a New Year's kiss either, so those shots of couples kissing at midnight kind of rubs it in. Thing is I can never find a group to hang out with for some reason. As to why, well, that topic is for another day.
I'm sure the lonesomeness adds to the lack of excitement for me (my ex-girlfriend decided to ditch me for her friends one year and said I wasn't invited to the party, for example, when we were dating). Anyway, I've always been curious as to why networks can't just show a New Year's celebration live for each time zone. It would be cool to see something different every hour instead of the same old ball drop every year.
Update (12:03 AM CST): So this year in St. Louis, the Fox station broadcast the New York celebrations on tape delay to coincide with midnight here. The ABC station broadcast live programming, but doesn't mention New Year's CST. All other stations broadcast programming that doesn't even mention New Year's. I feel so insignificant. The Midwest is definitely flyover country, unfortunately.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Merry Christmas Already? It Feels Different Each Year
Christmas was never the biggest deal at our house. It was just another holiday that everybody else celebrated, and since we happened to get the day off as well and it was the thing to do here in America, we went along with it. We rarely made the big production of having everybody over for dinner, singing carols, roasting chestnuts on an open fire, having a huge pile of gifts under the tree. In Taiwan, when my parents were back there, Christmas was only a day off. The big break came in a couple months for Chinese New Year. Plus, it's kind of hard to have a big, raucous family gathering and whatnot when the rest of the family is half a continent and the Pacific Ocean away. But I still got gifts, and we still had a tree, albeit a tiny artificial one initially before we finally got a big artificial one because I was adamant about not wasting a tree each year.
It was always my job to set up the Christmas tree and decorate it. It was fun, but it was more hard work than fun, having to figure out which pieces go where, having to spread the branches out to make it look like a real tree. So one year, I set up the tree halfway and never get around to finishing it. I went off to Los Angeles for a conference, and when I returned the tree was gone, back into its box and never to come out of the basement again. So far anyway.
It's difficult sometimes to be part of an immigrant family. I was born in the United States, and I went to school and work here, so I identify myself as American. I speak Chinese at home, and with the black hair and the yellow skin and other habits I've learned from being a part of my family I identify myself as Chinese. But these holidays that are celebrated in America are not necessarily ones that are big in Asia, and likewise the Chinese holidays are not known here. So we forget a lot of holidays are coming up until they're here, whether it's Eastern ones like the Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, or even Chinese New Year, or Western ones like Thanksgiving or Christmas. When we realize that they've come, we're like, "Oh, it was this holiday. Oops." And for the Western ones, we add, "Well, at least we get a day off."
And that's how Christmas feels like now. I love the idea of the Christmas spirit, the build-up, the atmosphere, the romanticism, the religious aspect. Being with friends and family, giving and receiving gifts, playing in the snow and then snuggling by the fire. But now that we don't celebrate it anymore Christmas Day seems anti-climactic, especially after all the commercial build-up. As each year comes and I get more removed from when we celebrated Christmas, however little the celebration was, it feels like a distant memory that cannot be recreated; otherwise it would not be genuine. And I'm okay with that. I don't need gifts to feel good. I don't need for the reason to be a specific holiday to spend time with my family. I don't need to put up decorations that will only be taken down a month later and isn't going to be seen by anybody anyway.
But that's not to say other people shouldn't do it, because if that's their tradition and it makes them happy, by all means, please be happy. To all of you who are lucky enough to do these things, I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Enjoy it, because you are fortunate to be able to create this magic.
It was always my job to set up the Christmas tree and decorate it. It was fun, but it was more hard work than fun, having to figure out which pieces go where, having to spread the branches out to make it look like a real tree. So one year, I set up the tree halfway and never get around to finishing it. I went off to Los Angeles for a conference, and when I returned the tree was gone, back into its box and never to come out of the basement again. So far anyway.
It's difficult sometimes to be part of an immigrant family. I was born in the United States, and I went to school and work here, so I identify myself as American. I speak Chinese at home, and with the black hair and the yellow skin and other habits I've learned from being a part of my family I identify myself as Chinese. But these holidays that are celebrated in America are not necessarily ones that are big in Asia, and likewise the Chinese holidays are not known here. So we forget a lot of holidays are coming up until they're here, whether it's Eastern ones like the Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, or even Chinese New Year, or Western ones like Thanksgiving or Christmas. When we realize that they've come, we're like, "Oh, it was this holiday. Oops." And for the Western ones, we add, "Well, at least we get a day off."
And that's how Christmas feels like now. I love the idea of the Christmas spirit, the build-up, the atmosphere, the romanticism, the religious aspect. Being with friends and family, giving and receiving gifts, playing in the snow and then snuggling by the fire. But now that we don't celebrate it anymore Christmas Day seems anti-climactic, especially after all the commercial build-up. As each year comes and I get more removed from when we celebrated Christmas, however little the celebration was, it feels like a distant memory that cannot be recreated; otherwise it would not be genuine. And I'm okay with that. I don't need gifts to feel good. I don't need for the reason to be a specific holiday to spend time with my family. I don't need to put up decorations that will only be taken down a month later and isn't going to be seen by anybody anyway.
But that's not to say other people shouldn't do it, because if that's their tradition and it makes them happy, by all means, please be happy. To all of you who are lucky enough to do these things, I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Enjoy it, because you are fortunate to be able to create this magic.
Monday, December 24, 2012
In Other News...:About This Blog
I've always liked writing. Well actually, scratch that. I've always liked free writing. I never understood the point of expository essays in high school English. (Shouldn't it be called literature? We're not learning English; we're learning how to analyze stories, including those originally written in another language and then translated into English. Anyway...) Didn't the authors write the stories just to make a living? Did every symbolic thing the teachers pointed out really get thought of by these writers?
Ironically, I love writing opinion pieces. For better or for worse, I have a lot of opinions. And of course, I'm always right.
Seriously though, as much as I enjoy producing opinions, they take a while to write, especially if I'm talking about something that requires time to research so that I can get my facts straight and base my opinions on things that are concrete (and true). They will come at times.
However, I'm going to try a true blog, as in thoughts about things that pop up (that can't be shrunk into 140 characters at least). I think I'll have enough time for that occasionally. I hope.
As for that list I published a few years back of stuff I wanted to write about, considering that it's, well, a few years back, it's probably not worth rehashing. New news keeps coming, so if anything strikes my fancy, I'll put something down here that's relevant to us now.
If there are any suggestions (for the five people who may stumble upon this blog because they were bored beyond belief; if not, I am utterly grateful) leave them in the comments or feel free to tweet me. It may be my blog, but you're the one reading.
Edit: I realized I said this a few months ago as you can see below. Shows you how much I remember.
Ironically, I love writing opinion pieces. For better or for worse, I have a lot of opinions. And of course, I'm always right.
Seriously though, as much as I enjoy producing opinions, they take a while to write, especially if I'm talking about something that requires time to research so that I can get my facts straight and base my opinions on things that are concrete (and true). They will come at times.
However, I'm going to try a true blog, as in thoughts about things that pop up (that can't be shrunk into 140 characters at least). I think I'll have enough time for that occasionally. I hope.
As for that list I published a few years back of stuff I wanted to write about, considering that it's, well, a few years back, it's probably not worth rehashing. New news keeps coming, so if anything strikes my fancy, I'll put something down here that's relevant to us now.
If there are any suggestions (for the five people who may stumble upon this blog because they were bored beyond belief; if not, I am utterly grateful) leave them in the comments or feel free to tweet me. It may be my blog, but you're the one reading.
Edit: I realized I said this a few months ago as you can see below. Shows you how much I remember.
Trying to Stay Sane in a World Gone Awry
It's really funny with me. I tend to let some things roll off my back, and at other times I get pissed off easily. I don't recall a time when I've been in the middle, like being annoyed perhaps. If something bothersome happens, such as people talking behind my back or an unforeseen situation changing a well-thought-out plan, I think, "Well, that sucks. Whatever. I'll deal with it." If I get irked to no end, however, or if something really stupid or ridiculous happens, I blow. At times, if the perpetrator is not available for me to yell at, I'll internalize it and think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head." And then I'll think about the situation to no end. I hold grudges really well. It's not good. If the perpetrator is right in front of me, I'll lay into them. Oftentimes though I'm so angry that my thoughts aren't straight and my arguments are not as effective as they could be. However, even if I feel slighted, it's my fault that I become angry, sad, or any other emotion. I'm the only person who can control my feelings, and I have to be able to do so, no matter if the other side is actually right or wrong.
When I'm annoyed, but not necessarily furious, I feel like a huge anger session to let out my emotions would be cathartic. Ironically, after I lay into someone though, I never feel better. I do think about how my arguments failed, and being hard on myself, I think about how I could've made my point better, which makes me even more infuriated. Downward spiral, vicious cycle, whatever you want to call it. Also, if I yell at people, people tend to yell back. And nobody likes to be yelled at (I forget that a lot). But most importantly, being mad is obviously a negative feeling. Negative feelings do not often directly lead to positive feelings. And then once again, I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head."
All too often, this has happened to me. I become irate. I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head." I go over the scenario some more. Again, I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head." And over and over until I'm pissed off at the entire world and believe I'm the only sane person alive. On the other hand, it also makes the other party angry as well. It becomes a losing situation all around.
But what if it's the opposite? What if the world is normal, but I'm the weird one for letting the everybody else get to me? Some of you may be saying, "That's not possible. The world is an infuriating, abnormal place. I'm the only one who has my head on straight." That may be true, and I wish it was for me. The problem is that the world is not going to change for me. There are too many people and too many variables. Just like the Theory of Evolution says, I have to adapt to survive. Otherwise, I'd go crazy with all my anger.
I am not necessarily admitting the opposite, that the world is perfect and I'm the nutball. We're all different, and we're all perfect and imperfect in one way or another. However, I can't control the world and fix its imperfections, as cool as that may be. Instead, I have to realize that the only person I can control is myself. I am not able to decree laying on car horns illegal. I am not necessarily able to make people feel guilty when I believe that I have been slighted. I can look at myself and find out what people are doing to make me feel this way, make me mad, make me annoyed, make me think that everybody else is stupid. It's my fault that I let myself experience these emotions, not anybody else's. Or what if I'm causing people to act this way towards me? And as hard as it is, I can learn to control myself such that I don't have to be mad or annoyed or think everybody else is stupid. Funnily enough, this is still easier than trying to take over the world.
I'm human, so being riled will come naturally. But one way to combat this is to realize that other people are going to make me angry. Think of it this way: you're not necessarily as surprised and affronted if you're expecting something to come. If the bar is set low, you expect poor quality, and if someone jumps over the bar, you're pleasantly surprised. All neutral to positive feelings; how good is that? By expecting people to be mean or stupid (in my enlightened opinion anyway), I know what's coming and I can prepare for it. And if someone isn't mean or stupid, or God forbid nice, I can feel thankful and lucky that there are people like that in the world, and I was fortunate enough to run into someone like that. I can let everything roll off my back, I won't go into my downward spiral, and I hope I won't exacerbate the situation for other people who may feel that they didn't do anything wrong. If I don't yell at them, I nip the situation in the bud, and everybody moves on.
I am not saying I am always right (I would love it if I was). But regardless of who is correct and who isn't, I can do my part to make the world a better place. The world is awry enough as it is; it doesn't need my reactions to insecurities to add onto it. I can stay sane and away from negative feelings. Others won't get madder than they need to be; they won't necessarily develop into s***heads and act like "this" all the time. The total craziness that makes up this world is kept to a minimum. Ideally, anyway. This is a long road, and there will be setbacks. But the option of easily becoming and staying angry pales in comparison to the option of not being affected by others, not affecting others, staying calm, and keeping everything as peaceful as possible.
When I'm annoyed, but not necessarily furious, I feel like a huge anger session to let out my emotions would be cathartic. Ironically, after I lay into someone though, I never feel better. I do think about how my arguments failed, and being hard on myself, I think about how I could've made my point better, which makes me even more infuriated. Downward spiral, vicious cycle, whatever you want to call it. Also, if I yell at people, people tend to yell back. And nobody likes to be yelled at (I forget that a lot). But most importantly, being mad is obviously a negative feeling. Negative feelings do not often directly lead to positive feelings. And then once again, I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head."
All too often, this has happened to me. I become irate. I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head." I go over the scenario some more. Again, I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head." And over and over until I'm pissed off at the entire world and believe I'm the only sane person alive. On the other hand, it also makes the other party angry as well. It becomes a losing situation all around.
But what if it's the opposite? What if the world is normal, but I'm the weird one for letting the everybody else get to me? Some of you may be saying, "That's not possible. The world is an infuriating, abnormal place. I'm the only one who has my head on straight." That may be true, and I wish it was for me. The problem is that the world is not going to change for me. There are too many people and too many variables. Just like the Theory of Evolution says, I have to adapt to survive. Otherwise, I'd go crazy with all my anger.
I am not necessarily admitting the opposite, that the world is perfect and I'm the nutball. We're all different, and we're all perfect and imperfect in one way or another. However, I can't control the world and fix its imperfections, as cool as that may be. Instead, I have to realize that the only person I can control is myself. I am not able to decree laying on car horns illegal. I am not necessarily able to make people feel guilty when I believe that I have been slighted. I can look at myself and find out what people are doing to make me feel this way, make me mad, make me annoyed, make me think that everybody else is stupid. It's my fault that I let myself experience these emotions, not anybody else's. Or what if I'm causing people to act this way towards me? And as hard as it is, I can learn to control myself such that I don't have to be mad or annoyed or think everybody else is stupid. Funnily enough, this is still easier than trying to take over the world.
I'm human, so being riled will come naturally. But one way to combat this is to realize that other people are going to make me angry. Think of it this way: you're not necessarily as surprised and affronted if you're expecting something to come. If the bar is set low, you expect poor quality, and if someone jumps over the bar, you're pleasantly surprised. All neutral to positive feelings; how good is that? By expecting people to be mean or stupid (in my enlightened opinion anyway), I know what's coming and I can prepare for it. And if someone isn't mean or stupid, or God forbid nice, I can feel thankful and lucky that there are people like that in the world, and I was fortunate enough to run into someone like that. I can let everything roll off my back, I won't go into my downward spiral, and I hope I won't exacerbate the situation for other people who may feel that they didn't do anything wrong. If I don't yell at them, I nip the situation in the bud, and everybody moves on.
I am not saying I am always right (I would love it if I was). But regardless of who is correct and who isn't, I can do my part to make the world a better place. The world is awry enough as it is; it doesn't need my reactions to insecurities to add onto it. I can stay sane and away from negative feelings. Others won't get madder than they need to be; they won't necessarily develop into s***heads and act like "this" all the time. The total craziness that makes up this world is kept to a minimum. Ideally, anyway. This is a long road, and there will be setbacks. But the option of easily becoming and staying angry pales in comparison to the option of not being affected by others, not affecting others, staying calm, and keeping everything as peaceful as possible.
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