I Have No Clue: Story of My Life

I don't know where this is going.  Just like my life.  I have no idea what I'm going to write about in this post.  Likewise, I have no idea where my life is headed.  Oh sure, I finally got past the first two years of medical school.  And I finally got past Step 1, the first board test we have to take as medical students.  But I don't know what specialty I want to go into or where I'm going to go.  I just started rotations.  I'm still learning, and learning multitudes (because I still have no clue about how to take care of patients).  If I had a nickel for every time I've gotten that question, especially while I was on my off-site rotation, especially from patients, I'd probably have $2.50.  The point is people may think I know and that I have control over my life.  I don't.  And to have to answer the same question over and over again, while it's not the fault of the patients since they don't know who I am, can get tiring.  I just say, "No clue.  Still learning.  Yes, Dr. So-and-So is a great teacher.  Yes, I'm lucky to be with him."  Rote memorization.  Could've used that the first two years of medical school.

I'm looking at the spider hanging on its web that it made between my pencil sharpener and my clock on my desk next to me.  I wonder what it's like, being an animal or an insect, oblivious to the cares of the world except for how to make its home and to catch its food.  Seems very basic.  It doesn't have to care about money.  It doesn't have to care about its future beyond its web.  That spider is lucky.  It's not going to be smushed by me.  I'll be taking it outside in a few minutes.  But even if something worse will befall it, it doesn't care.  It's just biding its time until the next food source comes along.

It's been two years since I've posted in this blog.  That equates to about 30 spiders and insects that have been caught in this apartment and released outside.  A lot has happened since then, mostly finally making it to third year.  But it seems like most things have happened to other people.  Every time I log onto Facebook, another person has a birthday, has partaken in a really cool hobby, has gone on an amazing trip, has gotten into a relationship, gotten engaged, married, had a baby, had two babies, had three babies, bought a house, got a job.  And I'm truly happy for them; some of them are classmates from high school and college.  Others are people whom I've met over the years and then lost touch with, or are medical school classmates, one of whom seems to be getting hitched every other week.  I'm obviously on a slower pace; it took four years to finally get into medical school, and then I had to take a year off, so now I'm behind my class.  Still on the listserv, so I'll get e-mails regarding residency applications.  Got one e-mail from someone about meeting a physician from another hospital.  I replied with interest.  Got an answer saying, "M4s only bro."  Thanks bro.

I've been told time and again that everybody has one's own pace.  I've given the same piece of advice to others.  I don't know if what I say is actually useful, but I try to be comforting. At the very least, I'm searching for something to say to avoid the awkward silence that comes along after someone spills out one's guts.  I wonder if this is the same for other people.  And yes, it's true that I am living life at my own speed.  Slower than a turtle, which is ironic considering that I was born in the year of the rabbit.  At some point, though, It'd be nice if things were to fall in place.  "Oh, you're cute.  You're interesting.  You're fun.  You're smart.  You're great to talk to."  Not helpful if you're not interested.  Insert winky face.

But at least I'm not coming into a doctor's office, waiting three hours before someone shows up, and then realizing it's the medical student asking questions as opposed to my doctor, and then wondering when the actual doctor's going to come in to tell me why I'm short of breath, or why I have stomach pain, or why my back is aching, or when this concussion will go away.  Thank goodness I'm on the other side of the room, and thank goodness my parents are rarely on the patient's side.  I'm also thankful that I can do stuff like see former presidents speak, even if they are stumping for their significant others.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get off before my Mom accuses me of writing too much (probably still going to happen anyway) and take that spider outside.

Yes, I Decided to Do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Too

And honestly, despite my ribbing of my good friend (even though he roots for the Chicago Blackhawks now;) who nominated me for this challenge, as I said in the video, I was honored to do so.  The video got quite long as we were filming, and with the very capable talents of Ben Schmidt, he was able to edit the video down to almost three minutes.  However, there were still some things that I wanted to mention that I wasn't able to during recording.

Sometimes, I wonder how many people who have participated truly understand what exactly is amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, and what it can do.  Truthfully, even though I'm familiar with the technical aspects of what comes with this disease, I cannot even imagine what the patient goes through, not physically being able to do anything, even though the mental acuity is as sharp as ever.  If my ability to walk, eat, speak, write, anything was taken away from me, I'd feel trapped, claustrophobic even, inside my own body.  On top of that, knowing that my body was wasting away, that I'd only have a few precious years to live, and how much of a burden I would be on my family, adds insult to injury.  And this can affect anybody no matter how fit one was before being diagnosed, from "Iron Horse" Lou Gehrig, who set the record for most consecutive Major League Baseball games played before retiring due to the effects of ALS, to one of the greatest minds ever in Stephen Hawking (who has a disease related to ALS), to former New Orleans Saints player Steve Gleason.  Just one look at any of them after they were diagnosed can show how devastating this disease is.

As such, I shall also be donating to the ALS Association to help fund research into effective treatments, and perhaps even a cure.  My first thought when I saw these Ice Bucket Challenge videos was, "It's great to see spreading awareness of ALS, but what good is dumping a bucket of ice over your head going to do?  It's not going to further research to cure the disease."  But since then, I have also seen many videos that implore people to donate in addition to spreading awareness through the Ice Bucket Challenge, which at last check has helped raise $88.5 million for the ALS Association alone to fight ALS.

Like I said in the video, instead of nominating just three people, I nominated three groups of people with whom I was associated with and happened to be touched by ALS in some way.  The first group I mentioned were my co-workers at the HRV Lab at the Washington University School of Medicine; one of our colleagues, Dr. Adnan Murselovic, was an immigrant from Serbia who had moved to America with his family looking for the American dream.  He would play his Serbian music at his desk and talk to us about soccer, especially when he would stream Euro Cup games on his computer while he was working.  He would come in Thursday through Sunday, spending the rest of the week trying to prepare for licensing exams so that he could continue his career as a physician in the United States.  I remember one afternoon, I had just come back to the HRV Lab after I had been away for a while, and he gathered the entire staff at the conference table to tell us that he had been diagnosed with ALS.  Of course we were all stunned that someone whom we saw everyday, who was always cheerful, kind, and caring, would have to suffer from such a harsh disease.  Unfortunately, as freshman year of college took up my time, I would only see Adnan on a handful occasions thereafter, but I do recall that the last time I saw him, he had asked me to unlock the door of the lab for him.  While I did so, I was shocked that what I thought was such a simple task couldn't be performed by someone who was once such a capable individual.  There were so many people who have been through that lab and who have been forgotten over time, that the fact that every once in a while Adnan's name would come up in conversation was a testament to how great of a colleague and friend he was.

Adnan was also a parent of an alumnus of John Burroughs School, where I first learned about what ALS was.  Jack Orchard, another fellow alumnus, was the captain of the football team in high school, had gone off to Harvard for college and Stanford for graduate school, and had ended up in Moscow and San Francisco as an entrepreneur.  He had returned to St. Louis after his diagnosis, and the first time he appeared in assembly, I remember thinking, "Oh, he doesn't look that bad."  But with each appearance he made, I could see little by little the effects ALS was taking on him.  He had started a new club at Burroughs, Extra Hands for ALS, that would send student volunteers to homes of patients who had been stricken with the disease to help out with whatever was needed.  Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to join, but I do remember many of my classmates did.  Sarah and Julia, if I remembered incorrectly, I apologize, but you're still nominated anyway:)

And in honor of Jack and Adnan, Ben and I wanted to nominate the administration at Burroughs, since that was where we first gained exposure to what ALS was, and we wanted to continue keeping the awareness level raised at Burroughs.  So to Mr. Abbott, Ms. Finley, Ms. LaVigne, and Ms. Tarbouni, I also apologize, but we wanted to do something for the Burroughs community.  Imagine that you just coached the Super Bowl-winning team.  It helps:)

Since I bent the rules and nominated so many people, I'll set the timetable for the end of next week to donate, or both do the challenge and donate.  Hopefully, I'll see a video being recorded from assembly on the John Burroughs Facebook page?

Lastly, I do want to say that ALS is a formidable opponent, and the ALSA is a worthy charity to contribute to.  But there are many, many other deserving organizations fighting for just causes as well.  So I implore everybody who reads this: don't just end your community involvement with a video of a bucket of ice water being dumped over your head.  Donate.  Get involved.  Learn.  And one tiny step at a time, try to make the world better.

Thoughts on Vladimir Putin and the 2014 Winter Olympic Games

Courtesy: theinspirationroom.com

I honestly wish I could spend more time researching this subject, especially because it involves two things that I really enjoy: sports and politics.  But this block is heading into its home stretch, and I don't feel like I'm anywhere near prepared as I should be.  Oh neuro.

But with the Olympics starting, I did want to mention a few thoughts.  The 2014 Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia have been named by many as Russian President Vladimir Putin's Olympics, or even "Vladimir's daughter" in Russia itself.  Not Sochi's Olympics or Russia's Olympics.  Putin's Olympics.  London wasn't called Cameron's Olympics.  Vancouver wasn't known as Harper's Olympics.  Even Communist China, which is known for their questionable human rights and party-loving propaganda, didn't hold an event called Hu's Olympics.  And the last time the world's sole superpower, the United States, hosted the Olympic Games, they weren't called Bush's Olympics.  Granted, none of these leaders held the top spots in their respective countries when the Olympics were awarded--usually the International Olympic Committee (IOC) names the host city of that year's games seven years in advance.  Guess who was President of Russia when the IOC awarded the 2014 games to Sochi.

Putin's been in power for a long time.  He's either been President or Prime Minister since 1999.  I'm not going to get into whether he orchestrated the power transfers between him and former President Dmitry Medvedev, how Putin was named Prime Minister after Medvedev was elected President of Russia, and then how they effectively switched jobs four years later.  But obviously, Putin has a hold on Russia.  He wants to bring Russia back to its glory days as a superpower.  It's only sensical that Putin use one of the world's biggest events as a stage to show off Russia.  Thus the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi.

Putin's been the face of Sochi 2014, having handpicked the city to hold the games and dropping $50 billion on preparing for the event, more than any other Olympics in history (including Summer; I had to double-check to make sure).  There's been a huge security presence to guard against any terrorist attacks or separatist movements.  There have been cries of corruption that Putin spins into other excuses.  Journalists and protesters have been affected.  Obviously, Putin wants to show off how great his Russia can be.

Couple all of this with recent accusations about Russia being homophobic, especially in the wake of its law prohibiting "propaganda of non-traditional sexual practices" among minors, which has been interpreted in many different ways, even in Russia.  Putin has had to say that gay people are safe in Russia if they leave kids alone.  That definitely doesn't sound like a strong message, honestly.  People have been reminded of the 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin, Hitler's Games.  We all know what Hitler did, and the awful tragedy that is the Holocaust should never happen again.  Hitler wanted to use his games to promote the ideals of his government, Aryan supremacy, and Germany's power.  Jews were banned from competition (among other hardships they had to endure), and gypsies were rounded up and put into camps.  Putin and Russia are nowhere near that level, especially in terms of what happened in Europe after 1936, but there are similarities between attempting to show power and disparaging against certain types of people.  Bigotry is a slippery slope.  And in the court of public opinion, there has been no separation between the controversial law Putin's country has put into practice and Putin's games.

Of course, most people hope that the Games are successful, and everybody lives happily ever after.  That's not how the world works, unfortunately, and a watchful eye must be kept on what happens to Russia after Sochi, and how Putin chooses to guide the country.

Happy Chinese New Year and Why Dumplings Are Eaten:)

Courtesy: userealbutter.com

So I just broke all that is holy in journalism by adding a smiley in my title.

Friday was the first day of the Chinese New Year.  Honestly, living in America, especially the Midwest, has kept me out of the loop in terms of the lunar calendar and when Chinese festivals fall.  I'm also very hazy on some of the details as well.  For example, I had no idea until a couple years ago that Chinese New Year celebrations lasted fifteen days until the Lantern Festival.

I'd love to go back to Asia sometime, particularly Taiwan and China, to celebrate Chinese New Year.  I feel just as comfortable in a Chinese environment as I do in the United States.  I may not be the stereotypical FOB, drinking bubble tea, singing karaoke, going to dinner parties, only hanging out with Asians all the time, but I do appreciate Chinese culture.  I can speak Chinese fairly fluently (or at least I can make myself understood, even if I don't always think of the most efficient way to say things).  But again, I wish there was more depth to my knowledge of some of these subjects, and I can see how that would lead some people in college to label me "whitewashed" (though I don't know if these people were aware of these nuances as well.  Heck, I can speak Chinese better than a lot of them).

Anyway, in the spirit of Chinese New Year, I wanted to share a story I heard in Chinese history class from when I went to Chinese school way back when.  Traditionally, dumplings are eaten during Chinese New Year.  There are many reasons why, including the fact that dumplings are shaped like gold ingots and symbolize wealth for a prosperous new year.  One of my favorite foods, and even perhaps my most favorite, has been my Dad's dumplings: hand-made dough filled with Lightlife vegetarian ground beef, spinach, vermicelli noodles, shitake mushrooms, baked tofu, ginger, garlic, green onions, soy sauce, and sesame oil, with a dipping sauce of equal parts soy sauce and rice vinegar with a touch of sesame oil.  I miss that.

But I wanted to put down this story  in writing, to share with everybody else, and so that I can remember it too.

**********

A long time ago (because all stories start out that way, don't they, or with "once upon a time"), there was a small village near a huge lake in China.  Everybody knew each other in this town, and they all lived happily and peacefully the whole year round, except for one time each year: Chinese New Year.  Now you would think that this time would be a cause for celebration.  After all, Chinese New Year is called the Spring Festival, signifying the start of spring.  It's a new beginning for everything.  But the residents of this little town could only hope that this was not the ending.

You see, there was a problem that these residents have had to contend with for a long time.  This lake that they have lived next to all their lives contained a being that frightened everybody in their right minds.  This was a monster, if you will, that nobody could describe, because nobody had ever seen it.  In fact, no one would ever dare to meet it, because if you did, the monster would eat you.

There was one time a year that the monster would come out of the lake and into the town, looking for people to feed itself.  That time happened to be Chinese New Year.  So it was at this time, every year, all the residents of this town would flee up into the mountains and hide in a cave, and only after the monster returned back to the lake for the year would the residents feel safe coming back down and resuming their normal lives.

However, one year, not all of the residents could make it up into the mountains.  One old lady had decided to stay back and meet her fate.  "I'm old," she said.  "I can't make it up the mountain anymore.  That journey would be just as bad as staying here and being eaten.  You all go ahead.  I'll stay back."  No matter how much her fellow townspeople tried to change her mind, begging, pleading, she wouldn't budge.  So the townspeople had no choice but to leave her behind as they made the long annual trek up the mountain.

After everybody else had left, the old lady went about her daily routine.  "Yes, I know I made the right decision," she sighed.  "I'm ready.  Even if I did go up the mountain, it would have been torture for me.  At least being eaten would be quick.  No, I'm okay with this."  As she was cleaning her house, she heard a knock on the door.  She walked to the entrance, expecting to see a monster, and preparing herself for the next journey.  So granted she was surprised when she saw a man, weary from his long travels, standing on her stoop.

"Get inside!  Quickly!" she hissed, pulling the traveler in and shutting the door.  "What are you doing here?  You shouldn't be in town right now!"

"I was wondering where everybody was," he replied.  "I've knocked on so many doors, and nobody's answered.  You're the first person I've seen since I've arrived.  What's going on?"

And so the old lady told the traveler the story of what happens each year, of how the monster rises from the lake during Chinese New Year to find people to eat, and because of that how everybody escapes up to a cave in the mountains during this time.

"Well, why aren't you with them?" asked the traveler.

"I'm old.  I can't handle the journey anymore.  So I sent everybody ahead without me."

"I have an idea, but we'll need to act quickly.  First, we're going to need some wood.  What I'm going to do is to build a fire in front of your door.  I can set off some firecrackers and light some lanterns with that as well.  In the meantime, I want you to get some red paper, and I want you to write a New Year's blessing on it.  When you're done, I want you to hang it on the outside of your front door.  I should be done building the fire by then, and we'll move on to the next step."

So as the traveler gathered wood and started to build a fire on the woman's front stoop, the old lady looked around the house, scrounged up a red-colored scroll and her calligraphy set, and wrote a Chinese New Year's blessing on it.  After she hung the scroll on the door and the traveler had built a fire, they went back inside to the kitchen.

"Do you have any meat and vegetables around?" asked the man.

"I have a little bit, just to sustain myself until the monster comes."

"Well, it'll have to do.  The next thing we should do is to chop up your meat and vegetables into fine pieces.  And not just cut them into small pieces.  I want you to mince it quickly, banging your knife with force each time it comes down.  And since we're chopping these things so finely, we might as well make dumplings with the meat and vegetables."

So as the man set around to making the dough, the woman got out her meat and vegetables and her biggest cleaver, and set about to chopping furiously.  They finished their tasks as night fell, and started assembling the dumplings.  A short time later, they sat down to eat their creations.

"Well, this is a nice last meal to have," said the woman.

They didn't talk for a while, concentrating on the delicious dumplings that they had just made, until finally, the woman said: "You should probably get out of here while you still can, before the monster finds you and eats you too."

"I'll be okay.  Do you want to know why we did what we did today?"

"I've been wondering that all day.  Why did we build a fire, hang up scrolls, and make dumplings?  Aren't those just everyday, menial tasks?"

"Well, here's what I was thinking.  Red is a harsh color to look at.  We have the fire, the scrolls, the firecrackers, and the lanterns.  When the monster sees that, he won't want to look at the house anymore.  On top of that, we have the firecrackers, and the loud sound you made with your cleaver when you were preparing the filling for the dumplings.  Those noises should be able to keep the monster away from your house, and thus we get to live another year."

"Ahh, I see," said the woman.  "But why did you have me write on the scrolls?"

"Well, we can't have too much good luck, can we?" said the man, smiling.

They laughed and enjoyed their feast the rest of the night.

The next day, the man left, continuing on with his travels, and a few days after that, the townspeople descended back down from the mountains back into the city.  To their surprise, they found the old lady still piddling around her house.

"What happened?  How were you able to survive?  Shouldn't you be gone, eaten by the monster?" asked the townspeople.

"It was the strangest thing," said the woman.  And she proceeded to tell them what happened, about how she had a fire at her front door, hung scrolls and lanterns, set off firecrackers, and made dumplings.  "Maybe you all should try it next year.  That way you won't have to be scrambling all the way back up to the mountains and hiding in that cold, dank cave."

And so the next year, every single house in the town had their entrances covered in red.  Every stoop had a fire burning, and there were scrolls, lanterns, firecrackers galore.  And from every house you could hear chopping--thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud--as meat and vegetables were being minced for dumpling filling.

The monster came back, rising from the lake as scheduled, to look for its annual meal.  It remembered the year before, seeing the red and hearing the noise from the one house, and how that had made it uncomfortable.  But as it entered the town, it saw so much red to burn its eyes, and heard so much noise to hurt its ears.  One house last year was enough to drive him away, but now the whole town?  The monster ran off, scared, back to the lake, never to rise up again.

**********

And that is why there is so much red and dumplings are eaten during Chinese New Year.  I'm sure there are other stories, but I particularly like this one.  Perhaps because it's the only one I've heard.  But let's not get picky.

Also, for your own reading pleasure, here's the story I remember of how the Chinese zodiac was created (or at least the first three slides and the last one; I'm not sure about the rest of the animals beyond the mouse, the ox, and the cat.  But at least there's an explanation).

So to everybody, 新年快樂 恭喜發財 万事如意 歲歲平安 年年有餘 心想事成 學業進步 馬年吉祥, and whatever other four-character sayings are out there.  Basically, happy Chinese New Year:)

And if any non-Chinese speaker wants to guess what the Chinese phrases mean in the comments section below, please do.  First person to get all eight right might receive something.  Or a hearty congratulations.

Ran a 5K Today. Just Like Getting Back on a Bike. Or on My Feet I Should Say.

Somehow running a 5K has become my workout of choice.  Probably because I've signed up for so many that it's become a habit from training for them.  It's also almost the perfect distance; not too short of a workout but not too long that you're drained.  Plus, a crowded indoor track isn't the most conducive to working on short sprints.

Was supposed to play basketball, but that plan didn't work out (hah), so I thought I'd try to utilize the rec center while I was still there.

I probably haven't been on a decent run since med school started, so I was pleasantly surprised about how I was able to hit my average range in terms of time.  I was even more enthused that I didn't have to stop and walk at any point, especially since there has been a dearth of sleep this week, including two hours last night from trying to finish an objective (I'm not going to get into if it was smart to do anything on such little rest right now, thank you).

This just makes me wonder if I had kept up working out consistently since graduating high school how good I could be or how fast my time could be.  Honestly, probably not that much better (my PR is 24 min), but even now it's still a far cry from where my level once was at least, lacking stamina, barely able to run a mile, and always feeling like puking.

I'll leave y'all with that image for a Friday night.

Got to See My First Patients!

[I normally eschew using exclamation points, so when I actually do utilize them, you know there's something exciting going on (or that I've already used up my smiley allotment).]

I got to see patients.  By myself.  Without a physician.  Not in a shadowing or standardized situation.  I got to ask the questions. And I got to poke and prod them.  And no, no one died.

I wanted to post this on Friday, since it happened on Friday, but a good friend from college came into town, and I hung out with her and her schoolmates.  When it's someone from your freshman floor, with whom you talked a lot, and whom you have known for almost a decade (yes, we calculated...we both feel really old.  We started comparing white hairs too), then of course you want to see her, even if there are other people around, as cool as they are.  Plus, it allowed me to go bar-hopping: to a restaurant/bar, a piano bar, and then a club.  (As an aside, clubs are sweaty, packed, loud, and full of drunk people banging into you.  But then, I guess I wasn't expecting anything else.)

Yesterday, my internet was out for a majority of the day.  At least Mediacom has decent customer service.

Anyway, I was assigned to a family care physician this block for my Ambulatory Care Experience, and my first session with him was Friday.  He mentioned that usually students will just shadow him the first time, but the more gung-ho students may jump in and start seeing patients too, taking histories and performing physical exams.  "Well, perfect," I thought, "what better way to jump right in and practice being confident?  And let's see how much I remember from the first two blocks of Introduction to Patient Care."

Thank goodness for IPC.  At least there seemed to be some semblance of me knowing what I was doing.

Honestly though, going through standardized patient exams, or even simulated practices, was more nerve-wracking than actually seeing patients...by myself...with no physician in the room to shadow.  Perhaps it's because my attending said that this experience was designed to be low-pressure, and if there was a time to make mistakes, it would be then, when I could report back to him and he can catch anything that I missed.  And it's definitely because I wasn't being graded, whether by a proctor or a fellow student.  Regardless, it was less stress and more of a rush.  I sincerely hope that feeling stays with me for a while.  I don't want to get jaded too soon.

I do need to work on my differential diagnosing skills though.  And knowing where equipment is before I go into a room.  Thankfully my patients were patient with me (feel free to commence your groans).

The Difficulty in Asking People for Help

I was soliciting donations at Wal-Mart this afternoon for a medical mission to Guatemala in March (please contact me if you'd like to support me/us:D).  In the two hours I was there asking shoppers to buy items we needed and donate them to us when they came out, I got half a shopping cart filled, and I'm extremely thankful to those who were kind enough to help us out.  The few people who stopped out of the goodness of their hearts were more than I could expect; as a way to temper any potential disappointment, I don't expect anything from anybody, and when someone exceeds that notion, I'm not surprised, but I am grateful that there are good people in this world.


But it is difficult to get people to donate to causes.  Back in St. Louis, I would help my temple fundraise when there were any huge natural disasters, such as Hurricane Katrina, the Sichuan Earthquake, and Typhoon Morakot.  I used to think that it was more of a Chinese thing, since we would frequent Chinese businesses, that people would pass us by, deliberately ignore us, say "no" with or without a "thank you" (wait, what exactly are you thanking me for?  For asking you and letting you say no to me?), especially because a common Chinese stereotype is that we can be stingy.  I remember one instance in which I was fundraising in front of a Chinese grocery store; one guy completely ignored me and went in, and he was struggling with his groceries when he was coming out.  I helped him with the groceries and the door, and he kept going on without so much as a "thank you".  Eh.  You shrug it off and feel sorry for him that he's so dour.


Today though, I realized that the difficulty in getting people to contribute to causes spans cultures.  As a disclaimer, I'm not berating them at all.  It's within their right to walk past and refuse to help.  It's just a reminder how hard it is to stand outside practically begging for assistance.  It'll make me think the next time I'm walking and I come across another volunteer soliciting donations for one's cause.


That difficulty caused me to be slow in terms of asking people.  There were times when I just let some folks slide by since it looked like they didn't want to be bothered.  It took me a while to warm up, but once I got into a groove, I got people to start taking flyers, and donations started streaming in.  Being bold is challenging; New Year's resolutions are not supposed to be easy.  This is also the same when asking for help under fear of rejection.  But I promised myself not to miss any more chances, and so here we go.  I unknowingly broke a condition that our group had agreed to when soliciting, but oh well.  No harm, no foul.


I've always been slow in asking people for something.  I'm constantly afraid that I'd be annoying.  My PI always had to constantly tell me to come find her when I got stuck on something instead of pounding my brain against a brick wall.  I believe this comes from my perhaps misguided pride and independence and wanting to figure things out by myself, as well as avoiding the potential of being bothersome.  On the other hand, when I would ask a question to the founder of a certain K-Pop website for which I was writing, she would tell me to go figure it out on my own.  There's nothing wrong with that, but then, I think I would trust a PhD with whom I've had almost a decade-long working relationship than a college student for whom running a K-Pop fansite basically fell into her lap (I shall say that I do admire what she's built in the website; I wouldn't have been able to do that).


So in summary (in what has turned out to be almost a stream-of-consciousness post), there are multiple folds in the difficulty of asking for help: personal characteristics, timing, and the willingness of others.  But once again, it's definitely heartwarming when people are eager to do so.


And Mom, I wrote this in half-an-hour during my designated break time.  So no, I'm not wasting time.  You can continue to sleep easily now.

Simplifying My Life, Since It's Going to Get Hectic Enough As It Is

Just deleted my Skype and Twitter accounts.  Don't really need them anyway, since most of the people whom I was associated with on Skype and Twitter...well, let's just say I fell out of touch with a lot of them, to put it nicely.  Furthermore, I don't feel the need to pander to certain Twitter followers whom I collected in a previous phase of my life.  I don't know how that helps me, except for the fact that I can freely view my thoughts about K-Pop now, but it's definitely a weight lifted.

I shall say that some of the people I talked to through these mediums were cool though.  Hopefully I'll be able to cross paths with them in another way.

Now off to biochem.  And cleaning the apartment...hopefully.

Another Kitchen Success

Somehow this is turning into a food blog.  Hmm.

I had a box of pre-washed kale in the fridge that had to be used up, and since it seemed to be too much for me to finish it all at once raw, I went to trusty old foodnetwork.com and found a recipe for it sauteed.  I haven't had the best luck cooking with oil though; I'm a clean-freak, but when I've sauteed with oil in the past, especially in a shallow frying pan, the oil seems to splatter after I add whatever I'm cooking in and stink up the entire apartment.  I've also had trouble burning garlic.

Instead, I thought I'd try a suggestion from my mom to saute with vegetable broth.  I basically switched the vegetable broth and the olive oil, starting with a base of vegetable broth, garlic, and red chili flakes, adding the baby kale, and finishing with salt and olive oil.  I must say the vegetable broth is quite flavorful, and the sauteed kale kind of reminds me of the sauteed bean sprouts I used to have at Chinese restaurants, except not as oily or salty, and with a fresh kale flavor added.

So Mom, if you're reading this, you can't blame me for not eating my vegetables.

Yes, pictures will be up...as soon as I decide to put them up.

Now on to my learning objective about Tums for tomorrow.  How fitting...

Cooking in Med School

So I started med school this past week.  The week before that was one long week of orientation, which was a long day of sitting in lecture and getting to know what the next year or two would be like, and then in the evenings there were a lot of social events, so I didn't cook much, if at all, since breakfast and lunch were provided, and I just had dinner at the places where the events were taking place.

But after orientation was over and we were on our own, I had to start cooking for myself.  Now supermarkets are not catered to the bachelor; the stuff they sell, even the fresh produce, isn't packaged for one meal deals.  I hate letting things go to waste, so I would dump the whole bunch of kale (or what I thought was kale) into the pot of canned tomatoes, and I had lunch and dinner for a week (well, mostly dinner, since a lot of student groups provided pizza for lunch as a way to entice us first-years).

Fast-forward to just now, when all week I thought I had a bunch of collard greens from last week left that I needed to use.  I go to the supermarket to get ingredients for this "southern-style collard greens" recipe I found on the Food Network website, and I come back home and start prepping the onions, chili flakes, and garlic.  I open the fridge, and I find kale.  Apparently I used up the collard greens last week in that tomato stew.  It's a little perplexing how I didn't notice that it was not kale I used up, since I used to have kale all the time back home, especially the kale salad from Whole Foods.

Anyway, I roll with it and replace the collard greens in the recipe with the kale.  Kale stems are a little tougher (a lot of recipes call for kale stems to be discarded), so I thought I'd add the whole box of vegetable stock instead of just three cups so that the kale stems would have more liquid to simmer in.  Hey, I've already gone away from the recipe, considering I had the wrong main ingredient, so why not?  I add tomatoes and some lemon juice as well, and somehow I end up with a weird hybrid of American hot-and-sour soup--the kale, sauteed onions, and leftover quinoa I used as a base to ladle the soup over, makes it American.  The tomatoes in the vegetable broth also reminds me of a light soup my mom makes from time to time, so I unintentionally end up with a touch of home as well.

I'd take a picture, but it doesn't look as pretty with the bowl already half-eaten.  Maybe tomorrow when I spoon a new bowl.

New Blog to Follow

A couple of my friends are hiking the Applachian Trail (something I've thought would be cool to do after reading Bill Bryson's "A Walk in the Woods") and will document it here: http://www.jandcat.com/.  They're just starting, but feel free to check it out to see their progress.

In other news, if you didn't happen upon my Twitter post, I finally got into medical school.  I'll have more to say on this entire process in the future.

Happy New Year

In a few minutes or so, the new year will start to be ushered into the United States.  Those of you outside the United States, especially in countries with only one time zone, may not understand this next part.  But it's something I've always wondered about.

At the end of every year, a crystal ball drops in Times Square in New York City to help count down to the new year.  It's fun, and it's a festive atmosphere.  It's a time of celebration and a time to look forward to new opportunities and experiences.

The problem is that, as many of you know, I live in St. Louis, which is one hour later than the East Coast of the United States.  I remember in 1999-2000 because people were celebrating the new millennium, and then again in 2001-2002, because people were trying to move past 9/11, New Year's celebrations were televised live for each time zone in the United States.  However, the usual practice of most television networks is that they broadcast the ball drop live on the East Coast, and then rebroadcast it in each time zone when midnight strikes.  Here's the main issue: watching it here in the Midwest takes away from the excitement, knowing that the ball drop is not live, and that we're getting the retreads from New York.  It's a little anti-climactic, when 12:00 AM on New Year's Day is supposed to be, again, fun and festive.  That's why you see everybody with their friends, hanging out, kissing...

Actually, now that I've brought that up, I've spent more years at home watching the ball drop by myself.  It's kind of lonely.  And I've never had a New Year's kiss either, so those shots of couples kissing at midnight kind of rubs it in.  Thing is I can never find a group to hang out with for some reason.  As to why, well, that topic is for another day.

I'm sure the lonesomeness adds to the lack of excitement for me (my ex-girlfriend decided to ditch me for her friends one year and said I wasn't invited to the party, for example, when we were dating).  Anyway, I've always been curious as to why networks can't just show a New Year's celebration live for each time zone.  It would be cool to see something different every hour instead of the same old ball drop every year.

Update (12:03 AM CST): So this year in St. Louis, the Fox station broadcast the New York celebrations on tape delay to coincide with midnight here.  The ABC station broadcast live programming, but doesn't mention New Year's CST.  All other stations broadcast programming that doesn't even mention New Year's.  I feel so insignificant.  The Midwest is definitely flyover country, unfortunately.

Merry Christmas Already? It Feels Different Each Year

Christmas was never the biggest deal at our house.  It was just another holiday that everybody else celebrated, and since we happened to get the day off as well and it was the thing to do here in America, we went along with it.  We rarely made the big production of having everybody over for dinner, singing carols, roasting chestnuts on an open fire, having a huge pile of gifts under the tree.  In Taiwan, when my parents were back there, Christmas was only a day off.  The big break came in a couple months for Chinese New Year.  Plus, it's kind of hard to have a big, raucous family gathering and whatnot when the rest of the family is half a continent and the Pacific Ocean away.  But I still got gifts, and we still had a tree, albeit a tiny artificial one initially before we finally got a big artificial one because I was adamant about not wasting a tree each year.

It was always my job to set up the Christmas tree and decorate it.  It was fun, but it was more hard work than fun, having to figure out which pieces go where, having to spread the branches out to make it look like a real tree.  So one year, I set up the tree halfway and never get around to finishing it.  I went off to Los Angeles for a conference, and when I returned the tree was gone, back into its box and never to come out of the basement again.  So far anyway.

It's difficult sometimes to be part of an immigrant family.  I was born in the United States, and I went to school and work here, so I identify myself as American.  I speak Chinese at home, and with the black hair and the yellow skin and other habits I've learned from being a part of my family I identify myself as Chinese.  But these holidays that are celebrated in America are not necessarily ones that are big in Asia, and likewise the Chinese holidays are not known here.  So we forget a lot of holidays are coming up until they're here, whether it's Eastern ones like the Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, or even Chinese New Year, or Western ones like Thanksgiving or Christmas.  When we realize that they've come, we're like, "Oh, it was this holiday.  Oops."  And for the Western ones, we add, "Well, at least we get a day off."

And that's how Christmas feels like now.  I love the idea of the Christmas spirit, the build-up, the atmosphere, the romanticism, the religious aspect.  Being with friends and family, giving and receiving gifts, playing in the snow and then snuggling by the fire.  But now that we don't celebrate it anymore Christmas Day seems anti-climactic, especially after all the commercial build-up.  As each year comes and I get more removed from when we celebrated Christmas, however little the celebration was, it feels like a distant memory that cannot be recreated; otherwise it would not be genuine. And I'm okay with that.  I don't need gifts to feel good.  I don't need for the reason to be a specific holiday to spend time with my family.  I don't need to put up decorations that will only be taken down a month later and isn't going to be seen by anybody anyway.

But that's not to say other people shouldn't do it, because if that's their tradition and it makes them happy, by all means, please be happy.  To all of you who are lucky enough to do these things, I hope you have a wonderful holiday.  Enjoy it, because you are fortunate to be able to create this magic.

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Just testing new settings:)

In Other News...:About This Blog

I've always liked writing.  Well actually, scratch that.  I've always liked free writing.  I never understood the point of expository essays in high school English.  (Shouldn't it be called literature?  We're not learning English; we're learning how to analyze stories, including those originally written in another language and then translated into English.  Anyway...)  Didn't the authors write the stories just to make a living?  Did every symbolic thing the teachers pointed out really get thought of by these writers?

Ironically, I love writing opinion pieces.  For better or for worse, I have a lot of opinions.  And of course, I'm always right.

Seriously though, as much as I enjoy producing opinions, they take a while to write, especially if I'm talking about something that requires time to research so that I can get my facts straight and base my opinions on things that are concrete (and true).  They will come at times.

However, I'm going to try a true blog, as in thoughts about things that pop up (that can't be shrunk into 140 characters at least).  I think I'll have enough time for that occasionally.  I hope.

As for that list I published a few years back of stuff I wanted to write about, considering that it's, well, a few years back, it's probably not worth rehashing.  New news keeps coming, so if anything strikes my fancy, I'll put something down here that's relevant to us now.

If there are any suggestions (for the five people who may stumble upon this blog because they were bored beyond belief; if not, I am utterly grateful) leave them in the comments or feel free to tweet me.  It may be my blog, but you're the one reading.

Edit: I realized I said this a few months ago as you can see below.  Shows you how much I remember.

Trying to Stay Sane in a World Gone Awry

It's really funny with me.  I tend to let some things roll off my back, and at other times I get pissed off easily.  I don't recall a time when I've been in the middle, like being annoyed perhaps.  If something bothersome happens, such as people talking behind my back or an unforeseen situation changing a well-thought-out plan, I think, "Well, that sucks.  Whatever.  I'll deal with it."  If I get irked to no end, however, or if something really stupid or ridiculous happens, I blow.  At times, if the perpetrator is not available for me to yell at, I'll internalize it and think, "What the f***.  Why are people like this all the time.  What did I do to deserve that from that s***head."  And then I'll think about the situation to no end.  I hold grudges really well.  It's not good.  If the perpetrator is right in front of me, I'll lay into them.  Oftentimes though I'm so angry that my thoughts aren't straight and my arguments are not as effective as they could be.  However, even if I feel slighted, it's my fault that I become angry, sad, or any other emotion.  I'm the only person who can control my feelings, and I have to be able to do so, no matter if the other side is actually right or wrong.

When I'm annoyed, but not necessarily furious, I feel like a huge anger session to let out my emotions would be cathartic.  Ironically, after I lay into someone though, I never feel better.  I do think about how my arguments failed, and being hard on myself, I think about how I could've made my point better, which makes me even more infuriated.  Downward spiral, vicious cycle, whatever you want to call it.  Also, if I yell at people, people tend to yell back.  And nobody likes to be yelled at (I forget that a lot).  But most importantly, being mad is obviously a negative feeling.  Negative feelings do not often directly lead to positive feelings.  And then once again, I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head."

All too often, this has happened to me.  I become irate.  I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head."  I go over the scenario some more.  Again, I think, "What the f***. Why are people like this all the time. What did I do to deserve that from that s***head."  And over and over until I'm pissed off at the entire world and believe I'm the only sane person alive.  On the other hand, it also makes the other party angry as well.  It becomes a losing situation all around.

But what if it's the opposite?  What if the world is normal, but I'm the weird one for letting the everybody else get to me?  Some of you may be saying, "That's not possible.  The world is an infuriating, abnormal place.  I'm the only one who has my head on straight."  That may be true, and I wish it was for me.  The problem is that the world is not going to change for me.  There are too many people and too many variables.  Just like the Theory of Evolution says, I have to adapt to survive.  Otherwise, I'd go crazy with all my anger.

I am not necessarily admitting the opposite, that the world is perfect and I'm the nutball.  We're all different, and we're all perfect and imperfect in one way or another.  However, I can't control the world and fix its imperfections, as cool as that may be.  Instead, I have to realize that the only person I can control is myself.  I am not able to decree laying on car horns illegal.  I am not necessarily able to make people feel guilty when I believe that I have been slighted.  I can look at myself and find out what people are doing to make me feel this way, make me mad, make me annoyed, make me think that everybody else is stupid.  It's my fault that I let myself experience these emotions, not anybody else's.  Or what if I'm causing people to act this way towards me?  And as hard as it is, I can learn to control myself such that I don't have to be mad or annoyed or think everybody else is stupid.  Funnily enough, this is still easier than trying to take over the world.

I'm human, so being riled will come naturally.  But one way to combat this is to realize that other people are going to make me angry.  Think of it this way: you're not necessarily as surprised and affronted if you're expecting something to come.  If the bar is set low, you expect poor quality, and if someone jumps over the bar, you're pleasantly surprised.  All neutral to positive feelings; how good is that?  By expecting people to be mean or stupid (in my enlightened opinion anyway), I know what's coming and I can prepare for it.  And if someone isn't mean or stupid, or God forbid nice, I can feel thankful and lucky that there are people like that in the world, and I was fortunate enough to run into someone like that.  I can let everything roll off my back, I won't go into my downward spiral, and I hope I won't exacerbate the situation for other people who may feel that they didn't do anything wrong.  If I don't yell at them, I nip the situation in the bud, and everybody moves on.

I am not saying I am always right (I would love it if I was).  But regardless of who is correct and who isn't, I can do my part to make the world a better place.  The world is awry enough as it is; it doesn't need my reactions to insecurities to add onto it.  I can stay sane and away from negative feelings.  Others won't get madder than they need to be; they won't necessarily develop into s***heads and act like "this" all the time.  The total craziness that makes up this world is kept to a minimum.  Ideally, anyway.  This is a long road, and there will be setbacks.  But the option of easily becoming and staying angry pales in comparison to the option of not being affected by others, not affecting others, staying calm, and keeping everything as peaceful as possible.

Amazing NBC Super Bowl Commercial

So I was in Taiwan during the Super Bowl, and I didn't get to see any of the commercials.  Heck, I didn't even get to see the whole game.  I woke up late, then had quite a time trying to find the game on TV (I ended up watching it on NHK and not understanding the Japanese commentary...except for when they said the names of whatever player was being shown at the moment).  And then we had to head down to breakfast and whatever we were supposed to do that day.  I tried to avoid the score until my dad bought the afternoon newspaper, and there on the cover of a Chinese newspaper was Eli Manning celebrating (wow, even in Taiwan you can't avoid the Super Bowl apparently.  But then, why the heck was it relegated to a Japanese channel??)  So of course that evening, instead of letting my parents watch news talk programs going on about Makiyo and her friends beating up a cabbie for the umpteenth straight day, I got to watch the end of the Super Bowl, including the Patriots basically giving up and letting Ahmad Bradshaw waltz into the end zone (yes, I know they were trying to maximize the time on the clock.  Still, it's pretty pathetic.  Actually, thank goodness the Patriots are pathetic.  I still haven't forgiven them for Spygate and for beating the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI.  Basically, I'm glad the Giants won.)

Anyway, for some reason I was surfing around a couple days ago, and I thought I'd go onto YouTube to watch some performances of "Brotherhood of Man" from the musical "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying".  It was the first musical I ever saw; it was the high school production when I was in seventh grade, and I found the play hilarious and the tunes catchy, especially "Brotherhood".  Of course, I found a movie clip of Robert Morse performing way back when.  I also found Daniel Radcliffe of "Harry Potter" fame performing it at the Tonys last year.  And then below all that I found a commercial of NBC stars performing it before the Super Bowl.  And it was amazing.

The banter between the "30 Rock" characters was hilarious.  And then Alec Baldwin starts singing (okay, so this will be a "30 Rock" commercial).  And then, a surprising cut to "The Office", then "Parks and Recreation", and then "Community" (okay, so maybe a Thursday night comedy collaboration for the Super Bowl).  And then there was Alec Baldwin introducing "Smash"...holy crap, is that Mariska Hargitay and the "Law and Order:SVU" cast letting loose?  The "Today" show?  Brian Williams??  David Gregory, Harry Smith, and the main NBC News stalwarts???  Wow, they went all out.  And it worked.

If this was aired during the Super Bowl, I would've thought it was one of the best Super Bowl commercials ever put together.  All that star power joining forces, being silly, and singing! to promote their network was no small feat.  And only NBC could've pulled this off.  CBS, ABC, or even Fox wouldn't have been able to--though Fox probably would've come up with something raunchily funny.  And I guess David Letterman making a commercial with Oprah and Jay Leno was pretty awesome.

NBC is struggling, much like ABC was for a while a few years back before "Lost" and "Desparate Housewives", and then Fox before that when it was trying to find its footing.  Maybe because NBC is not doing so well they were able to take chances like this.  But I love how their talent is so well suited for this kind of stunt, including their comedy casts, especially "30 Rock" and "Saturday Night Live", and how their news people, and even soap opera stars, don't take themselves too seriously and are able to have fun with this as well.

Anyway, below is the video (the uploader disabled embedding, but trust me, the video's awesome): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJuAvwtmXuw

And just in case you need to know who's who, it's a pantheon of NBC All-Stars:
0:01-Al Michaels (voice)--Sunday Night Football, NBC Olympics, NBC Sports
0:06-Tina Fey, Scott Adsit, John Lutz, Tracy Morgan, Alec Baldwin, Jane Krakowski, Kevin Brown, Grizz Chapman--30 Rock
0:23-Jack McBrayer--30 Rock
0:27-Keith Powell--30 Rock
1:00-John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, Rainn Wilson, Craig Robinson, Phyllis Smith, Oscar Nunez, Angela Kinsey, Paul Lieberstein, Kate Flannery, Brian Baumgartner, Mindy Kaling, Zach Woods, B. J. Novak, Ellie Kemper, Ed Helms, Creed Bratton--The Office
1:21-Amy Poehler, Nick Offerman, Rob Lowe, Aubrey Plaza, Adam Scott, Rashida Jones, Jim O'Heir, Chris Pratt, Aziz Ansari--Parks and Recreation
1:32-Donald Glover, Alison Brie, Danny Pudi, Yvette Nicole Brown, Joel McHale, Gillian Jacobs, Ken Jeong, Jim Rash--Community
1:53-Katrina Bowden--30 Rock
2:07-Judah Friedlander, Sue Galloway--30 Rock
2:28-Katherine McPhee, Megan Hilty, Jaime Cepero, Raza Jaffrey, Jack Davenport, Debra Messing, Christian Borle, Anjelica Huston, Brian d'Arcy James--Smash
2:38-Mariska Hargitay, Richard Belzer, Kelli Giddish, Danny Pino, Dann Florek, Ice-T--Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
2:46-Adam Levine, Cee Lo Green, Christina Aguilera, Blake Shelton--The Voice
2:47-Jay Leno--The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
2:50-Monica Potter, Dax Shepard, Lauren Graham, Peter Krause--Parenthood
2:52-Whitney Cummings, Chris D'Elia--Whitney
2:53-Chelsea Handler, Laura Prepon--Are You There, Chelsea?
2:56-Maya Rudolph, Will Arnett, Christina Applegate--Up All Night
3:03-Donald Trump--The Apprentice
3:05-Al Roker, Ann Curry, Matt Lauer, Natalie Morales--Today
3:10-Kristen Wiig, Kenan Thompson, Bobby Moynihan, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, Seth Meyers, Fred Armisen, Jay Pharoah, Vanessa Bayer, Abby Elliott, Taran Killam, Nasim Pedrad--Saturday Night Live
3:19-Brian Williams--NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, Rock Center with Brian Williams
3:23-Top Row (L-R): Drake Hogestyn and Deidre Hall--Days of Our Lives; Savannah Guthrie--Today; David Gregory--Meet the Press; Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb--Today; Lester Holt--Today, NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, Dateline; Kate Snow--NBC News; Jenna Bush Hager--NBC News; Harry Smith--NBC News
3:26-Alison Sweeney--Days of Our Lives, The Biggest Loser; Bob Harper and Dolvett Quince--The Biggest Loser
3:28-Carson Daly--Last Call with Carson Daly, The Voice; David Giuntoli--Grimm; Kathy Bates--Harry's Law; Howie Mandel--America's Got Talent
3:37-Bob Costas--Football Night in America, NBC Olympics, NBC Sports; Jimmy Fallon--Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

And some hilarious/cool parts to notice:
-Alec Baldwin's character Jack Donaghy talking about friends Clark and Martha Fancypants attending their son's trial in Aruba.
-Tina Fey, her huge bowl of guacamole, dip, and chips, the faces she makes, and her comments (especially disagreeing about how mediocrity is not a mortal sin).
-Jack McBrayer's character Kenneth Parcell taking pride in being a lowly errand boy, or an NBC page.
-"Cold corporate setup" is almost the same as what J. Pierrepont Finch says before he breaks into "Brotherhood of Man" in the actual musical.
-Tracy Morgan's character Tracy Jordan being out of it (responding to "leading lady" and saying "bla-dork-able [black, adorable, and dork]).
-Tina Fey referencing past Super Bowl commercials, including the Budweiser Clydesdales playing football and Betty White in a Snickers commercial.
-Judah Friedlander's hat says "Touchdown There", and Scott Adsit tries to not get blocked by Jane Krakowski and Alec Baldwin.
-Katherine McPhee and Megan Hilty are amazing singers, of course.
-Oscar winners Anjelica Huston and Kathy Bates appear.
-Lauren Graham has a cute way of clapping.
-Basically everybody's faces and actions.
-"Oh aren't you proud to be/Right here on NBC?"
-Alison Sweeney, Bob Harper, Dolvett Quince, Carson Daly, David Giuntoli, Kathy Bates, and Howie Mandel were obviously added via computer.  I'm neutral about it, since it's cool that they participated, but the computer is kind of offsetting.
-The Radio City Rockettes (who perform at Radio City Music Hall in Rockefeller Center, where NBC is headquartered) make an appearance.

So basically, after saying all that, I love the commercial.  Good job NBC.  Now if you could apply that same hilarity and creativity to all of your shows, you should be back on top in no time.

May 8th, 2012 Blurb

Well, it's been a while. Writing full articles is so time-consuming that I don't have time to draft one every week, and thus I've been ignoring this thing for the past year or so, probably longer. However, this is still a good outlet to talk about things, so I'll probably do short blurbs, and then if the inspiration strikes me I'll post one of my patented long, rambling opinions.

Another day in research. Another day of more edits being made to my paper. Even though I wish I could get it out already, I know it's a process, and each time I go through this my paper is getting better and more publishable.

Good lunch with my girlfriend today. We always seem to have a lot to talk about, and we hit it off really well. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.

Still trying to buckle down and prepare for tomorrow's class. A lot of stuff to do as well for my application.

And hopefully I'll be around here more often.

Another Day, Another Piece of Sad News

By now, everybody has heard of the shooting in Tucson, AZ. Six have died, including four seniors, one of whom was a federal judge, one 9-year old girl, and an aide to United States Representative Gabrielle Giffords. 14 people were wounded, including Congresswoman Giffords. Congresswoman Giffords was shot in the head, but was out of surgery late yesterday and doctors are apparently hopeful for a recovery.

The prime suspect, already in custody and charged with first-degree murder, attempted murder, and attempts to kill a member of Congress, is 22-year-old Jared Loughner, and he has currently invoked his right not to incriminate himself. According to CNN, the suspect was mentally disturbed and was a high school and community college dropout who attended Giffords's constituent meeting yesterday with the intent to assassinate Giffords.

This is scary in many ways. First, the meeting of an elected official should be exciting, whether because you get to meet someone important and pick this person's brain, or whether you want to exchange ideas. Nine-year-old Christina Green was a member of her school's student council, and was invited to visit Giffords at this meeting. Think of how happy she was before and while meeting Giffords. What Giffords was doing, meeting with the people who elected her to office, was exactly what she should have done. It's her job to represent her people, and take their wishes to Washington with her. This happy and important occasion is something that must go on, and now the fact that this kind of shooting has happened at an important public event at a supermarket makes things scarier. People should not have to think twice about making their voices heard or being a public official. Unfortunately, these things will happen.

Second, we should have learned a long time ago that firearms and mentally unstable people do not mix (read: Virginia Tech). Now, the facts have not all come out, especially about how Loughner was in possession of a firearm, so no one is to blame as of now (including Loughner, innocent until proven guilty, however much public opinion may despise him). But mentally unstable individuals with an agenda against others already tend to be dangerous, and putting weapons in their hands make them even more so. This should be common sense. I could get on my soapbox and talk about restrictions and gun control (even though I know that the right to bear arms is the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution, but you have to admit some people just should not be able to have a firearm) and background checks, but I'll just say this: it's common sense. Dangerous people should not have dangerous things that can put others in danger.

I'm sure much more will come of this in the days and weeks ahead, including the search for an alleged accomplice. Right now, thoughts and prayers do go to the victims and their families, and hopes for a speedy recovery for the survivors of this horrible yet way too common tragedy.

Random Interesting Things

Some stuff I've run across on the internet:

Guy stealing a parking spot learns a lesson:
Check out this great MSN Video: Parking Jerk Learns Lesson

Creating one's own personal parking spot:
Check out this great MSN Video: Sneaky Parking Trick Caught on Video

England vs. United States, Lego style:

"England’s goalkeeper needs to wipe that silly smile off his face . . ." -Jeff Gordon, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

And a few pictures from Uni Watch:






Angel Stadium of Anaheim, home of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, has two massive Angels hats outside. But if you notice in the pictures, the caps are complete with the MLB patch on the back, New Era labels, the manufacturer of MLB caps, and size labels as well. Those would need a couple of massive heads to fill them. Maybe a certain slugger allegedly pumped up on steroids...